Amy Tan told a story of a time when she did not have a full understanding of shame. She learned to not be ashamed of her background or who she is as a person. I personally, understand Tan’s purpose because of when I arrived at my first permanent duty station, NAS Lemoore.
It was late March 2007, though it was dry and hot that year. I was wearing my dress whites, itchy polyester and clammy sweat touched my skin. First stop was administration’s building 180 about two blocks away, driving would have been pointless because of the lack of parking available. Two flights of stairs and a long cold hallway to the duty office so that I could check into the command. In the Navy we are supposed to show how “military” we are by knowing how to report to an office or higher ranking personnel. It had been around 6 months since I had done so, being is such a lacks environment after I had finished my “A” School. I knocked and entered the office, facing movements and all, and with a right face movement popped to attention. “Airmen Jacobs reporting for duty petty officer”, I said in a military manner. The second class petty officer looked at me like he had never seen anyone do that in his entire career. He told me that I could relax and that it was not necessary. He then informed me that I needed to go to the manpower office to receive which shop I would need to report to. This was a quick stride to the next room over in which I casually walked in and informed them, not that I needed to with my service records in hand, that I was a new check-in. The Chief looked at me with what seemed to be frustration. He asked me if I thought he was not good enough to receive the same as the second class in the duty office. The color left my face leaving me ghostly. My mind began to shuffle looking for what to do. I popped to attention spouting off something resembling, “No Chief, I was just… I mean I….” He cut me off, “I am just kidding you!” I almost died right there. After his laughter died down he told me to sign in and show him my records. He then told me I would need to check in at building 160, back where I began. The color returned to my face once I was back in the hallway. Inside building 160 I found a little window with another second class sitting on what seemed like an uncomfortable stool. She told me that I would need an escort because I didn’t have a security badge yet. She made a call and seconds later a third class petty officer named Ayon came from inside the building. He looked at me in wonderment. “Didn’t anyone tell you that you could wear your working uniform? The whites just make you look like a check-in and people will mess with you. Do you have your working uniform here so you can change?” "Yes." I said. We went inside and I changed. The rest of the day was far easier with everyone thinking I wasn’t straight out of boot camp and scared out of my mind. I learned that if you have the appearance of a newcomer you’re a target for people to mess with you and make you ashamed to be new in the Navy.
